5. Well a couple mins later he did and I happened to answer the call. So for your enjoyment, we decided to compile a list of the 33 most hilarious (and completely ridiculous) police blotters that have ever been printed. Why did the police … We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), the funniest things people have ever found in their backyards, the funniest excuses people have ever used to get out of work, the funniest things that have ever happened at doctors’ offices, the funniest things fast food workers have ever seen at work, the funniest—and cutest—mistakes kids have ever made, hilarious real calls to the Thanksgiving help-line, Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. Police: “Police emergency.” Caller: “Um. NEW Crime Glossary allows you to get informed with in-depth crime meanings and definitions: Crimewire is your destination for all things Crime. See more ideas about humor, work humor, 911 dispatcher. Even though the jobs of police officers are far from funny, every once in a while there are moments of pure hilarity. We Reveal Scary Horoscopes. Let us know in the comments! So if you don’t want to be afraid, Nov 8, 2020 - Explore Bill Murphy's board "Funny Police Pictures", followed by 431 people on Pinterest. We can't verify the validity of all of these hilarious news briefs, but we can guarantee you'll get a kick out of them. What is your emergency'"Male caller: "Yeah, I want to order a pizza. Yes I’ve lost my glasses. Source: USA Today   These are the funniest things fast food workers have ever seen at work. '” 45. Buzzkill – Because they ruin people’s fun. I'm catching up to the person in the back of the group when, out of the blue, he stops and sits on a stone bench in the neighbors garden. Woman calls police. Dog Break-In. 44. Such a realistic picture, in HD. A Norwegian man dialed the police to complain that he was unable to leave the hair salon where he was getting a trim. It contains an epic speech with cameos from the game's creator. Our intrepid team of bloggers scours the web each and every day to create information-based media content with an entertaining twist for our readers. 1. Source: dacula.patch.com     These are the funniest things people have ever found in their backyards. "What's the Number for 911' is a collection of more than 170 stories and actual transcripts of strange, and hilarious 911 phone calls. Check them out below! After asking how far apart the contractions are he stated 10+ mins. Instant Checkmate does not provide consumer reports and is not a consumer reporting agency. Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. So folks, which one of the police blotters above do YOU think was the most outrageous? 43. 'Rather Large' Report. A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. Source: Shortlist.com    Every cat lover will appreciate these hilarious cat tweets. Final score: 690 points. Instant Checkmate does not make any representation or warranty about the accuracy of the information available through our website or about the character or integrity of the person about whom you inquire. But before the police could react, the man called back, saying mystery solved. This last entry on the prank call numbers list is one that is slightly out of the box. Callers who missed their alarm and were going to be late for a flight wanting officers to take them to … See more ideas about funny police pictures, funny, police humor. Woman calls the police. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. After receiving a frantic 911 call, the Regina, Canada, … 2. Police quotes: the most famous and inspiring movie police quotes from film, tv series, cartoons and animated films by Movie Quotes .com A Jacksonville, Florida, man was so upset when a sandwich shop left the special sauce off his hero that he called 911 … twice. If you have friends who work in the police or this is your profession as well, you will definitely like our new police officer memes. We recommend our users to update the browser. Source: Ananova.com, After Elaine Owens saw a red glow in her trailer’s bathroom, she called 911 to report a fire. Officers are required to report every incident that occurs on a given day, even those that are completely outrageous. Let's face it: police blotters can be one of the most entertaining parts of a newspaper, when they're funny. When they arrived, they discovered the problem—the girl’s grandfather was cheating in a game of cards. So he called the cops. Knives, baseball bats, and billy clubs are child’s play. A woman in Kalispell, Montana, called police insisting that her neighbor’s loud music caused her house to develop a “heartbeat.” Source: The Beacon   These are the funniest things that have ever happened at doctors’ offices. Who doesn't love stories of crime gone wrong or police getting called into highly ridiculous situations? One of America's most consistent pastimes seems to be calling the police on each other no good reason whatsoever. Computer hardware no longer works. These and many other weird and funny calls haunt the UP Police’s emergency response centre UP100 quite frequently. For more information, please review Instant Checkmate Terms of Use. Cop: “I’m going to follow you to the nearest police station.” Me: “What for?” Cop: “I’ve forgotten the way.” — Tommy Cooper. 4.Boyfriend is refusing to bring her casserole. Mister Meanor – For a police officer getting you in trouble over something really small. “Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!” the man said. Source: theworldlink.com. A burglar in Shelby County, Ohio, was caught by police after he accidentally butt-dialed 911 while breaking into a home. Now, if you’re looking for the funniest ones, then you’re in for a treat. Welp, it’s safe to say that some people are completely unaware of what warrants a call to the police. The UFO was actually the moon. The first time was to ask if officers could make sure his sandwich was made properly. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my tour is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." Well, this is true that such funny cop memes are extremely popular. Just let it go. ~~~ If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired ~~~ For the Policeman. Officer: “How high are you?” Driver: “No, officer, it’s ‘Hi, how are you? 2 … When a seven-year-old girl called 911 and then hung up, the Burnett, Wisconsin, police were dispatched to her home. The ones for my near-sight.” Operator: “Right.” The fire, it turns out, was a burning log displayed on the stadium’s giant video screen. Funny Cop Memes to Make Your Friends Laugh. Follow. A Romanian man called police to report hearing a strange noise in the house he happened to be burgling. DISCLAIMER: It is PROHIBITED by law to use our service or the information it provides to make decisions about consumer credit, employment, insurance, tenant screening, or for any other purpose subject to the Fair Credit Reporting Act, 15 USC 1681 et seq. He's based in San Diego, California. Friends forgot to send her greeting cards. Source: web.orange.co.uk. This might not sit well with the officers themselves, but from an entertainment standpoint, some blotters are pure gold. They include information on anything from arrests, crimes, phone calls to the station, suspect descriptions, and much more. After receiving a frantic 911 call, the Regina, Canada, fire department raced off to battle an inferno at the local Canadian Football League stadium. But it was he who ended up in jail after police arrived and found the pot plants he was growing. Highly amused police captain Ann Stephens recorded herself taking the call, in which she's accused of drug trafficking and money laundering … Blotters are daily written records of the events that occurred at local police stations. Guy calls in about 5 mins from his house saying he got a call that his wife’s water just broke. Find real criminal records and more on the Instant Checkmate People Directory. Funny Police Joke – 5. The above collection of funny numbers to call will undoubtedly lift your moods when you are bored or stuck somewhere. Source: Azcentral.com. Having to get other 9-1-1 lines I told him to call back when he got home. Source: newsinenglish.no   For more funny calls, check out these hilarious real calls to the Thanksgiving help-line. Wife steals bacon from the fridge. Too much to explain. Here’s what we mean. ~~~ Bustin’ ours…savin’ yours. Source: Web.orange.co.uk. St Patrick’s day 2007. Source: wdtn.com   Meet some more of the dumbest criminals of all time. The Zodiac Killer's Star Sign? Later that day, the woman called back to report that the vehicle had been found. An abandoned burrito found in a trash can. When cops arrived, they pounded on the door until the occupant finally opened up. Funny Sayings and quotes about Policemen and Police. 6. So many people call 911 for all the wrong reasons that the San Antonio Police Department actually started filming videos in which an officer reads some of the funniest. This year was no exception. When firemen showed up, they discovered that the flames were actually sunlight reflected off the shower curtain. The information available on our website may not be 100% accurate, complete, or up to date, so do not use this information as a substitute for your own due diligence, especially if you have concerns about a person’s criminal history. Husband calls police. These digits are an Easter Egg line for the ending of the video game God of War. When a British man saw a mysterious flying object that lit up the sky he immediately called the authorities. Ed Smith is a writer, coffee addict, and jack of all trades. In fact, they can be funny, particularly when they become the subject of memes. After making numerous calls to 911, a Lundar, Canada, man was warned that the next one would land him in jail. But a rolling pin? She calls the police. He eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. 19 Wild And Wacky Police Blotters, 22 Incredible Facts You Need To Know About K9 Police Dogs, [Update 2020] An In-Depth Look At Instant Checkmate, You Must Ask Your Daughter’s Boyfriend These 10 Questions. Below are a few funny police reports we’ve seen. If you’ve ever picked up a newspaper, then you’ve probably come across the police blotters section. A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. Florida Sheriff urges residents not to shoot at Hurricane Irma Copyright © 2021 CrimeWire by Instant Checkmate. Send prank calls to your friends with scenarios like pizza orders, wake up services, fleeing bride and more A guy stupidly calls the police to ask in meth is illegal because he's cooking it. That prompted him to reveal his real reason for calling: “If you’re coming to get me,” he told the dispatcher, “can you bring me some smokes?” Source: Winnipeg FreePress    These are the funniest excuses people have ever used to get out of work. Call the police and start a search party because I cant find my self esteem Dear rappers, please stop putting police sirens in your music. He’d just been having a rough time on the toilet. Cops Funniest Wildest Moments - Compilation 3 (HD) - YouTube “It’s okay, Dad,” the boy said, “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”. Jan 18, 2016 - Explore Craig Gaines's board "Police Cartoons", followed by 141 people on Pinterest. A Canadian woman dialed 911 after hearing yelling and shouting coming from her neighbor’s apartment. Some guy calls the police to report a break-in from a dog only for it to turn out that he let the dog in, himself. Jan 29, 2020 - Explore Jessica McCart's board "Dispatcher humor", followed by 118 people on Pinterest. Read for yourself! See more ideas about police humor, police, cops humor. POST. It was in her yard, hidden behind tall weeds. He arrived home one day to find he’d been burgled and that his favorite hookah pipes were missing. Code Brown – What police officers say when they need the bathroom before responding to a call. When I'm driving it scares the crap out of me. 3. Anyways, don't forget to check the funny stories that we've found on calling in for an emergency below. 7. A woman in Dacula, Georgia, contacted police when her Chevy van went missing. All Rights Reserved. Now that’s serious business. Only 2% of wealthy people say they fear the police; 94% of working class people fear the police. | sitemap. NEW! Police arrived and arrested the man, who, as it turned out, was the only one in the house, aside from the homeowner’s noisy cat. Still, some of these conversations might be prank calls, but we don't think that pranking an emergency station is worth the fine and lawsuit that comes with it, as every call is being tracked for caller ID. Making matters worse: The crook hid in a closet, but was ratted out by his phone yet again when the low battery alarm went off. Source: cbc.ca, A man in Lincoln, Nebraska, learned that sometimes you just have to let it go, man. Police ID the subject as a cardboard cutout of Arnold Schwarzenegger.” “The ducks refused medical treatment and left the area” “The man said that he was sitting home alone masturbating (…) when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to video tape him” Dispatcher: "911. Looks to me and says "oh good evening, I think they went that way." Community Member. I got stopped last night by a police officer. When the dispatcher called back, she discovered the problem: Much to the boy’s annoyance, his mother was insisting that he go to bed. That’s when they discovered that the man was in no danger. Most of the people who made these calls needed help all … Police sergeant caught sending screen shots of 'funny' police calls to her friends. does not frighten people who are doing right; but those doing evil will always fear him. The police track down his info and immediately send someone over to bust him. The cops definitely have real problems to deal with and real crimes to solve, so I’m sure they’re pretty baffled when they get calls about missing bacon, smelly husbands, and drunk ducks! Demon Worshippers Now-retired PS Carolyn Witts ended her 31 year career with West Midlands Police at a disciplinary hearing. Upon further investigation, police learned that the man couldn’t leave because he so loathed his haircut, he was too embarrassed to be seen. Kristi Zoebelein. "stop, police and all that jazz" Kids obviously keep running so I announce that i'm in a foot chase and start after them. All men are created equal… then a few become policemen. One guy asked for 911 to order them Pizza. Here's a compilation of the outrageous, funniest, dumbest, most unbelievably real 911 calls ever recorded.Enjoy! Source: boston.com    These are the funniest—and cutest—mistakes kids have ever made. This is one good reason why the internet can’t stop making hilarious police memes. Say What? I embedded a video showcasing Police Chief William McManus reading some of the funniest 911 calls. Do you need a cop meme for some reasons? Funny Police Reports 1. The second time, to complain that the cops weren’t responding fast enough to the first call. A ten-year-old Brockton, Massachusetts boy called 911, then abruptly hung up. Stool Pigeon – A funny way to refer to an undercover cop.